It is a very natural process when the companionship and closeness you share with your best friend, turns into a deeper emotion. Falling in love with one’s best friend might not be what one has in mind, initially. But when you share a loving bond with someone who understands you well, it is not surprising when you start developing feelings of love for that person. It is actually a more normal transition than we think and might happen to anybody.
There
are several things which lead to a situation of love between two best friends.
Firstly the bond which they share is a strong one, filled with camaraderie and
affection. You share your deepest thoughts and feelings with your best friend,
tell them secrets and keep their secrets, laugh and cry with them and you can
be yourself around them. When you have so much of emotions floating around, the
wind might suddenly turn and you might find yourself in love. But just as there
are pros and cons to all situations, there are similar ratios which come into
play when you fall in love with your best friend too. Here is a look at some of
the things you need to weigh before going down that road.
Is
it a one-way street?: Before you start planning a rosy future with your best
friend, you will need to carefully consider if he/she also feels the same about
you. Many times, we mistake affection and friendly love for the real thing; and
make assumptions based on that. Before jumping to any conclusions, one should
consider the signals that the best friend is sending to understand them better.
Even though it is good to always share your feelings, in this case it might
backfire and cause unnecessary complications. If you have a doubt that sharing
your feelings about your best friend might lead to misunderstandings and rift
between you, it is best to keep them to yourself till you analyze them better.
Is it really love?:
Is it really love?:
Are you absolutely sure that the feelings that you have
assumed to be love are not just a deepening of your affection. At times, when
we go through a personal crisis and our best friend comes to our rescue, we
tend to become possessive and needy about them. We become emotionally dependent
on that person and something which was earlier just a friendship might feel
like more. This is a psychological reaction that anyone might have, and
the only way to differentiate it from real love is to dig deep inside you. The important thing is to analyze your feelings for what they are
before rushing in to anything. You might be surprised to realize that what you
thought as love; was after all, just an illusion.
The
right approach: Once you're sure about your emotions, you might feel like blurting out your feelings to your best friend, the first chance you get. But the best approach is not always the fast
approach and requires a little effort and patience on your side. And just
because your feelings have turned from friendship to love does not mean that
you should stop being the best friend that you always were. The care and
affection that you felt for your best friend and the bond that brought you so
far in the first place, should not be ignored and neglected, now that you have
developed deeper feelings. You might also try to give hints about your feelings instead of barging out
with them outright. Giving subtle hints will ensure that you are not giving
them the shock of their lives. It will also help you to be prepared for the
bitterness of rejection and help preserve your friendship as well.
Are
you ready for the consequences?:
Love is a totally different cup of tea from friendship and while friendship might provide you relief from your anxieties, love on the other hand might just create a few of its own. The fact that you have expressed your love will lead to two consequences, first might be a positive response and the other one might be a let-down. Either ways, there will be changes to your friendship and the bond which you shared earlier might not remain the same. If your feelings were rejected, it is up to you to make sure that your best friend feels comfortable enough to carry on the friendship with you. The more easy-going and unaffected you appear, the more chances are that your friendship will remain intact. On the other hand, if your affection is returned, even then the friendship that you shared will undergo lot of changes. The secrets that you shared and the demands that you made; will all go through a transition and you should ask yourself if you are ready to face them.
Love is a totally different cup of tea from friendship and while friendship might provide you relief from your anxieties, love on the other hand might just create a few of its own. The fact that you have expressed your love will lead to two consequences, first might be a positive response and the other one might be a let-down. Either ways, there will be changes to your friendship and the bond which you shared earlier might not remain the same. If your feelings were rejected, it is up to you to make sure that your best friend feels comfortable enough to carry on the friendship with you. The more easy-going and unaffected you appear, the more chances are that your friendship will remain intact. On the other hand, if your affection is returned, even then the friendship that you shared will undergo lot of changes. The secrets that you shared and the demands that you made; will all go through a transition and you should ask yourself if you are ready to face them.
Like
all relationships, best friend to lover is definitely not a smooth ride, but if
you are ready to take the risks, it might just be worth it.
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