Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Are you in love with your best friend? Some facts to keep in mind!

It is a very natural process when the companionship and closeness you share with your best friend, turns into a deeper emotion. Falling in love with one’s best friend might not be what one has in mind, initially. But when you share a loving bond with someone who understands you well, it is not surprising when you start developing feelings of love for that person. It is actually a more normal transition than we think and might happen to anybody.

There are several things which lead to a situation of love between two best friends. Firstly the bond which they share is a strong one, filled with camaraderie and affection. You share your deepest thoughts and feelings with your best friend, tell them secrets and keep their secrets, laugh and cry with them and you can be yourself around them. When you have so much of emotions floating around, the wind might suddenly turn and you might find yourself in love. But just as there are pros and cons to all situations, there are similar ratios which come into play when you fall in love with your best friend too. Here is a look at some of the things you need to weigh before going down that road.    

Is it a one-way street?: Before you start planning a rosy future with your best friend, you will need to carefully consider if he/she also feels the same about you. Many times, we mistake affection and friendly love for the real thing; and make assumptions based on that. Before jumping to any conclusions, one should consider the signals that the best friend is sending to understand them better. Even though it is good to always share your feelings, in this case it might backfire and cause unnecessary complications. If you have a doubt that sharing your feelings about your best friend might lead to misunderstandings and rift between you, it is best to keep them to yourself till you analyze them better.

Is it really love?: 

Are you absolutely sure that the feelings that you have assumed to be love are not just a deepening of your affection. At times, when we go through a personal crisis and our best friend comes to our rescue, we tend to become possessive and needy about them. We become emotionally dependent on that person and something which was earlier just a friendship might feel like more. This is a psychological reaction that anyone might have, and the only way to differentiate it from real love is to dig deep inside you. The important thing is to analyze your feelings for what they are before rushing in to anything. You might be surprised to realize that what you thought as love; was after all, just an illusion.

The right approach: Once you're sure about your emotions, you might feel like blurting out your feelings to your best friend, the first chance you get. But the best approach is not always the fast approach and requires a little effort and patience on your side. And just because your feelings have turned from friendship to love does not mean that you should stop being the best friend that you always were. The care and affection that you felt for your best friend and the bond that brought you so far in the first place, should not be ignored and neglected, now that you have developed deeper feelings. You might also try to give hints about your feelings instead of barging out with them outright. Giving subtle hints will ensure that you are not giving them the shock of their lives. It will also help you to be prepared for the bitterness of rejection and help preserve your friendship as well.    

Are you ready for the consequences?: 

Love is a totally different cup of tea from friendship and while friendship might provide you relief from your anxieties, love on the other hand might just create a few of its own. The fact that you have expressed your love will lead to two consequences, first might be a positive response and the other one might be a let-down. Either ways, there will be changes to your friendship and the bond which you shared earlier might not remain the same. If your feelings were rejected, it is up to you to make sure that your best friend feels comfortable enough to carry on the friendship with you. The more easy-going and unaffected you appear, the more chances are that your friendship will remain intact. On the other hand, if your affection is returned, even then the friendship that you shared will undergo lot of changes. The secrets that you shared and the demands that you made; will all go through a transition and you should ask yourself if you are ready to face them.  

Like all relationships, best friend to lover is definitely not a smooth ride, but if you are ready to take the risks, it might just be worth it.

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