Friday, July 11, 2014

Some easy topics for a first date

We have all struggled to think of some fascinating conversation topics for our first dates, especially if we haven't been out on many dates. It is difficult to get a first date these days and to get them interested enough to come on a second one, is really something. Going on a first date is nerve-wracking enough, without the added burden of trying to appear smart and interesting.  Besides, there are many topics which are literally taboo during the first date and should not be touched even with a barge pole, that is, if we want a second date to manifest. Trying to avoid some subjects and trying to come up with the right ones can prove to be tough on the nerves.

Some of us would really appreciate a manual to help us out at this juncture; where we don’t have to rack our brains trying to think of subjects to keep our dates hooked and mesmerized. Although not as good as a manual, however, here are some conversation starters to help you out in your first dates. And no need to worry if you don’t have a date yet, keeping a few of these things in mind will come in handy in getting one soon.

Get to know her: It is important to get to know the person you are dating to determine whether you even want to go on a second date. And in order to do that, you will need to ask her strategic questions without appearing interrogative. Your aim should be to understand the likes and dislikes of your date and whether you have anything in common. Asking about mundane things like hobbies and interests has become outdated and boring; instead you should start by asking what they are passionate about or what turns them on. Asking about their parents and siblings are a good way to make them open up but you will need to watch for any negative vibe displayed when you ask about their family. You can ask them about their favorite vacation spots to find out if your taste match or you can also go for the tried and tested favorite movie or music question.
Keep it interesting: If you start answering a question that your date has put across, you need to careful about the length of the answer that you give. Keeping it too short might make you appear secretive and moody while a lengthy answer might put her to sleep. The answer should be of the right length and should keep her intrigued about your personality. So, if she asks, if you like to dance, you could probably say that it depends on the partner you have, because after all, it takes two to tango. If instead, you go on harping about the last time you went and did the two-step in so-and-so party with so-and-so girl, it might bore your date out of her wits.

Career goals and future plans: People usually like talking about their career plans and passion in life, so it is one of the best topics you can go for on your first date. You need to draw out your date and make him/her feel comfortable, so asking about their future plans can help ease the tension. You should appear interested and supportive, no matter what your opinion is, because this is one topic which if you are not careful about, might touch a nerve.

Job and work-place: You can also ask your date about their current job and about their big bad boss. This is another good conversation starter and helps to break the ice. If your date is having some trouble with the boss or another colleague, you can share your own stories and give your good advice. You will need to be careful not to appear too cocky or arrogant though, because your date knows more about how to handle her job better than you and might not take your advice in a kind manner.   

Mutual friends and acquaintances: If you have been introduced by a mutual friend, it is a good place to start talking and break the ice. You could start by asking how they became friends and share your story as well. This helps to ease any initial tension that you feel during the first phase of your date and helps you to move on to the next topic. 

Social inclinations: 

Getting to know her socializing scene helps you to determine how compatible you both are and if you will be able to spend some quality time together without putting each other to sleep. If you find that she loves the theater and the only time you went to see one, you snored to glory, it might pose a problem when you want to do something together at a later time. It is okay to have different tastes but completely opposite ones might pose a problem. So, it is best to find out strategically about her inclinations so that there are no unpleasant surprises later.
Avoid certain topics:


It is helpful to know what to talk about on your first date but then you should also know; what not to talk about. Introducing certain topics like politics, religion and sex can prove to be as dangerous as walking on land mines and you should stay far away from them. Certain subjects like those of your ex, or her ex, your sexual preferences, your opinion on the situation in Iraq etc., are too heavy topics to bring up on the first dates. You might think these are good conversation starters, but you might find yourself in the midst of a slinging match, instead. You should also be careful about being too persistent about getting the answers, least you appear like a stalker. Maintaining the right degree of interest and also knowing to gracefully let go of the questions she is not comfortable answering, are the right ways to charm your date.

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