Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Being faithful in a relationship...do you really want to?



Life is full of beautiful temptations and it is natural enough that the human mind tends to get attracted towards the taboo. Everyone has their own Achilles heel and some might succumb to the enticement while others overcome it. Statistics have revealed that most divorces and break-ups happen because of infidelity by one or both the partners and the ironic fact is that most times the affair turns out to be nothing. So, in the long run, one ends up losing a laboriously built relationship to satisfy a moment’s fancy. And when one realizes the futility of the venture, it becomes too late to do anything about it.

No one can assure that they are immune to the lure of the forbidden and will never stray in their lifetime. But what one can do is use the power of their own judgment to prevent any mishaps from happening. Just like precautions can save accidents, being prepared and aware can help you to remain faithful and save your relationship as well. There might be some genuine problems inside the marriage or liaison due to which it ended; but if it was a happy union and you had nothing but only your wayward nature to blame for the break-up; then you will be happy to have some words of advice before hand. Here are some handy ways to help you to remain faithful and loyal in your relationship.


Analyze your relationship for any issues: If you feel yourself getting tempted to be unfaithful, you need to first analyze if there are any underlying issues in your relationship. If you find something wrong, it might turn out that working on them helps you to automatically overcome the temptations. But you will need to work with your partner on this and you might need professional help to sort out your problems as well. But unless you work on your relationship first, there is no reason that any other affair would work.

A one-time attraction: Sometimes, a man might have been faithful to his wife for a long time but suddenly gets attracted to someone in particular. If this happens, it might indicate a momentary flight of fancy, which is harmless enough unless he is tempted to act on his feelings. One way to resist the temptation is to distance oneself from it or at least make an effort to be with someone else when meeting this person. You can try talking about your wife in front of this person to remind you of your responsibilities. If that does not work, you should completely stay away from this person. You can try being honest about your feelings to your wife, but again if she is a very jealous kind of person it might backfire and increase her insecurity.

Are you a modern day Casanova: Some men have roving eyes and as long as they limit their actions to only looking, it is fine, But unfortunately, some might not be able to resist the allure and when opportunity presents, they take the plunge. If you have the habit of being attracted to anything in a skirt, then you might need to tackle your weakness before it snowballs into a problem. You can try using counseling and do some reflection as to why you have a need to be with someone else when you have a perfectly happy relationship. You could try visualizing the problems that might crop up if you are unfaithful. Imagining all the positive things in your relationship also helps you to remain faithful.

Erase the boredom: One of the main reasons for a man’s interest to be drawn towards other options is the dullness in the marriage or liaison. Doing the same thing and experiencing the same atmosphere causes one to lose interest in their partner and the relationship. But one needs to understand that the monotony one is facing in the current relationship is also going to crop up in other affairs, so instead of looking out for new pastures, one can start improving their own garden first. You will need to keep doing new things with your partner to keep the romance alive and not let the tedium set in. The sameness in a relationship can easily cause one to be faithful.

Visualize the outcome: When one is attracted towards the forbidden, the excitement of the moment does not let one analyze the outcomes of one’s actions. But when reality sets in, you will have a moment to examine the consequences of your attraction. And that is when you should ask yourself if you really want something to ruin your relationship and if you can imagine yourself without your partner. You should examine if the current attraction is important enough to give up your secure, steady life. 

If the answer to any of these questions is a doubtless “yes”, you can maybe think of ending your current relationship before indulging in a new one. Because, it clearly indicates that you are not happy in your current relationship but there is no need to make your partner unhappy as well.  

It looks better that what it is: “Grass is always greener on the other side” might be an overly used and abused maxim, nevertheless it is very true, especially in case of the straying husband. No matter how alluring your out of the world woman looks, she wants the same thing that your current wife does, and once the allure wears off, you will end up facing the same mortgage and utility bills, only this time around, you will have alimony and maybe child support as well. So, even if the grass is slightly less green on your lawn, it is still better than the neighbor’s.

Cheating is not a very difficult thing, especially when your buddies keep boasting of their own conquests. You might feel like you are losing out and take the opportunity when it presents itself, but at the end it might not be worth the effort. But it is a choice that you make, and unfortunately you will have to bear the consequences as well.